10 Unconventional Things about My Pregnancy and Birth Experience

1. Since we practice NFP, we were able to plan for our baby to come in January. I know it doesn't always work out this way, but with the knowledge gained from charting, we could truly plan our baby's birth.

2. Furthermore, since I was taking my temperature for the use of NFP, I never took a pregnancy test. 18-20 post-peak high temperatures is a 99% accurate indicator of pregnancy. I never used a home pregnancy test, and since I did not go to a traditional doctor, there was no lab test either. My very Catholic, NFP-teaching midwife simply looked at my chart and confirmed the due date I set myself.

3. I never had an ultrasound. Having an ultrasound seems to be the norm in pregnancy these days. However, even ACOG - with much of their backwards-thinking - says that ultrasounds are only to be used in medically-indicated situations and should not be used only to determine the sex of the baby. Moreover, there have been few studies on the effects of ultrasound on a baby, which uses high-frequency sound waves to create a picture on the screen. To me, if a procedure is unnecessary and may or may not lead to complications (like miscarriage), why take the risk? I had no indication that anything was wrong, so an ultrasound was unnecessary.

4. My appointments with my midwife often lasted upward of an hour, during which time she would take my blood pressure, weigh me, feel the position of the baby, listen to his heartbeat, and ask me how I was feeling. We spent a good amount of time discussing birth, discussing any questions Josh or I had, and just chatting. It was enjoyable and never rushed.

5. We planned and prepared for a completely natural birth, especially by taking the Bradley Natural Childbirth classes. I highly recommend this. We learned so much about nutrition, exercises, relaxation as a way to reduce pain, and birth itself. Thus, I aimed to eat 80-100 grams of protein per day, recording this information, along with a balanced diet. I did certain simple exercises every day which not only prepared my body for birth but made pregnancy more comfortable. (For instance, I remember going shopping toward the end of pregnancy and seeing another pregnant woman waddling by; I realized then that I almost never waddled, even at my largest point, due to a very simple exercise I did several times a day.) I couldn't have made it through labor without having practiced relaxation; in fact, I think if I had practiced more, as was recommended, labor would have been easier. Finally, knowing the stages of labor and how things naturally progress was very educative. We even had our student workbook with us to reference during labor; Josh could tell by my emotional signposts and contractions where I was in labor and encourage me to keep going forward.

6. I never experienced an invasive procedure - including a pelvic exam or check for dilation - during the entire course of pregnancy and birth. The purpose of a pelvic exam is to determine whether a baby really could come out the natural way; we instead started with the assumption that I could give birth naturally. (No woman should be made to feel that she cannot do this. It is an extremely rare case that a woman cannot fit a baby through her pelvis, for instance.) Checking for dilation may or may not give an accurate picture of where a woman is in labor. And from what I remember from labor, having to lie on my back while someone was trying to do anything at all in my lower region would have been really uncomfortable. Someone who really understands birth should be able to tell by other means where a woman is in labor - her emotional signposts, contractions, level of modesty she exhibits, etc.

7. I gave birth in a bathtub. Water offers both buoyancy and lubrication during birth. I was mostly sitting, with Josh supporting me from behind. I did move to a squatting position at one point - which was how I imagined giving birth since it's the most conducive position - but I was tired and I found it harder to stay in that position. I honestly don't know how women give birth on their backs, but that's your only choice if the lower half of your body has been anesthetized. In fact the lithotomy (on the back) position is the second worst position there is for giving birth since you basically have to work against gravity; being hung from your feet would be the first.

8. Just my husband and midwife were with me during the birth. No one interrupted labor to bother me with questions. No one offered to intervene (drugs? epidural? episiotomy?) when I was most vulnerable to suggestion. No one yelled at me to push.

9. I was never separated from the baby after he was born. My midwife quickly measured his length and weighed him at the foot of the bed where I was lying a couple hours after he was born and handed him right back to me. The baby wasn't taken off somewhere else where he would get drops in his eyes, distorting his sight in his first hours in the world, be pricked in the foot, vaccinated with at least three shots, and circumcised. Such an assault of bodily pain can be a traumatic experience for a baby newly-emerged from the comforts of the womb.

10. I was back at home later the same day. We chose to stay to take a nap and eat breakfast, so we got home about 7.5 hours after he was born, although we could have chosen to leave earlier. No paperwork - just a hug goodbye from my midwife and a promise to come see me at home a couple of days later.

2 months to go

Apparently, I'm not very good at updating a blog when it pertains to personal news - worse than when I post on theological issues over at our other blog (where Josh does a decent job of updating). I could blame it on life being busy, but other people find time to post on their blogs, and I'm sure many of them are busier than I. So maybe I'm just lazy or find other things to occupy my time. Unfortunately, one of those things is NOT my thesis, so now I really have to get moving on it if I want to have a bulk of the work done before the baby arrives. The topic has changed a bit; my current working title is "Authentic Feminism and the Role of Women in the Church". It's been done before, but since this is just a master's thesis and it's a topic I'm interested in learning more about, I'll save a new or more creative/theoretical topic for the Ph.D. dissertation (if I make it that far).

Speaking of Ph.D. we need to do some more work on our applications; I'd like to submit them before Christmas, although I don't think any of them are due before February 1. Right now the plan is to at least try out a Ph.D. program (assuming we are accepted and receive decent funding). I think I'll always regret it if I don't at least try, although I know that starting a family can make such an endeavor quite complicated. We are ready for a change, though. Josh is tired of his job - in the sense of all the extra work he has to do, which keeps him from his studies, not in the sense of not liking teaching. We both enjoy teaching, although I cannot see myself teaching at the high school level or lower ever again (aside from teaching my own children). I really love teaching college classes, NFP classes, and even adult religious education (like RCIA). Anyway, we both relish the thought of taking classes, reading, and studying being our only responsibilities outside of the home.

In baby news, at my last appointment (28 weeks) our midwife felt for the baby and said s/he was head-down already, which is great. From what I can feel, I think s/he is still head-down because it seems like there are feet kicking my ribs fairly often. Mom came with me, so she and I both got to hear the heartbeat through the fetoscope (fetal stethoscope). Everything seems to be going really well. I'm generally hungrier, which I suppose is what makes it easier to meet the 80-100 grams of protein quota per day. The baby is pretty well-developed and is in the bulk-up stage at this point, which means I'll be putting on more weight now. I'm not sure how much I've gained, but my next appointment is Monday (32 weeks), so maybe I'll find out then.

Our moms held a baby shower this past Saturday, so we actually possess some baby things now. I cleaned out the closet in the office and was able to organize and fit most of the stuff in there for now. The cradle will be in our bedroom since the baby will either sleep with us or in the same room as us. We're not going to get a crib until we know what our plans are for next summer. If we end up moving, we'll have the crib shipped to our new address instead of moving it with all our other things - at which point the baby will probably be too big for the cradle anyway. (I'll post more about our planned sleeping arrangements some time in the future. For now, though, I'll just say that the U.S. is an oddity in that it's one of few places in the world where babies are expected to sleep in their own beds in their own rooms at such a young age - which isn't necessarily healthy.)

I guess that makes up for most of the things I failed to post lately. Perhaps another post next week? We shall see...


My sister and I at the baby shower (about 31 weeks)

Less than 3 months to go...

It's hard to believe it's mid-late October already. We've been staying pretty busy lately, as always. Last week and this week, I'm teaching classes (Faith and Science, Ecclesiology) for my professor while he's out of town, in addition to working on my online Natural Family Planning classes and working at the church.

We've been going to our Bradley natural childbirth classes for three weeks now. We've learned mostly about exercises and nutrition so far. Josh and I work together everyday to do exercises that strengthen the muscles needed to give birth and to build stamina for such an athletic event. This also includes some relaxation techniques, which is necessary to practice since we tend to tense up our muscles when we feel pain. By practicing these techniques, I can learn to relax in spite of pain, which will prevent further unnecessary pain and allow my body to work as it should during birth. Regarding nutrition, I've been counting my protein intake since pregnant women really need 80-100 grams of protein a day. This is sometimes a daunting task, but I've been able to get to 80g (or close) most days. Having a well-balanced diet and getting enough protein can nearly eliminate problems such as toxemia (pre-eclampsia), premature rupture of membranes (PROM), and hypovolema during pregnancy. It also leads to easier labor and less complications at birth, not to mention a healthier baby with better brain development and fewer infections.

My 28 week appointment with our midwife is tomorrow, so if there's anything to update after that, I'll try to do it this week.